255 Days

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“Mommy, you’re going to die in 255 days,” was the jarring comment I heard this morning while preparing breakfast for my clan.

But it got me thinking as I went for my walk later, how would my life change if I knew I only had 255 days left…

To be honest, it was pretty uncomfortable to think about. Yes, I would get to see my youngest child go to school but I wouldn’t get to see her finish her first year, let alone be there for all the graduations along the way. And my heart cried, for her, for our family and for me.

So just what would I do…

  • I’d go for ice cream as many days as I could stand. (Woodlands and Scoops, here I come!)
  • I’d play board games until my family got tired of them.
  • I’d start my own end of life book club and finally read War and Peace, maybe with my mom and sister if they’d like to do that! http://theendofyourlifebookclub.com.
  • I’d visit all of the places I dearly love like Goderich, Edmonton, Camrose.
  • I would have deep, heartfelt conversations with family and friends I’ve both remained in touch with and reconnect with some I haven’t.
  • I’d explore some new places with my family. (I think we’d all need to take the year off to do it).
  • I’d finish all my scrap booking as one last gift to my husband and children so they could remember all of our precious times together.
  • I’d spend more time playing almost anything my daughters wanted to.
  • I’d decorate cookies with my beloved nephews and sing silly songs with my lovely nieces.
  • I’d go swimming, learn to ride a bike and find all kinds of adventures to do with my children.
  • I’d spend as much time with my husband, daughters, mom, dad, sister, brothers, in-laws, nieces and nephews as humanly possible.
  • I’d try to live in grace and worry less about doing it right.

But the thing is, it’s not just about what I’d do but about what I’d stop doing.

  • I’d stop worrying about the dishes and the cleaning.
  • I’d try not to hold grudges.
  • I’d forget about what people think about me so much and live.
  • I’d try to reconcile all my relationships in the moment and not wait for some long awaited time in the future that may never come.

So if I’d do all those things and refrain from these others, it’s made me think about what I’d prioritize each day. I think I’m going to go right now, print out this list and try to live each day as if it were my last…not because I think my daughter is a prophet but because I don’t want to have any regrets at the end of the life I will live.

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3 thoughts on “255 Days

  1. What a great list. I had a friend who worked in palliative care, who spoke with a number of people at the end of their life, and they never, ever wished that they had worked more, worried more, or gotten even. Living life backwards is not a bad strategy.

  2. Such a thought provoking post, Lori. Like the fact that it’s not just a “bucket list” of what to do, but what you wouldn’t do. Made me really think about my own life. Thanks I am curious though, whatever brought that comment out of your daughter?

    • That’s a great question Auntie Carol. I’ve been asking myself the same question. She’s a thinker this one and we’ve been talking about Jesus’ death and resurrection in preparation for Easter. We also observe Lent. So I think she’s just piecing it all together.

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